I See Your Face

Unforgettable thing.

I’m not a write when I’m depressed sort of person. Angry-resigned inspired-tired! disappointed maybe. But actually bonedeep sad?

I can’t reach down there in the depths of despair.

I’d be curled up somewhere watching anime or reading manga. I’d make myself notthink.

When Miura Haruma died, I said a flat “No.” wandering back into the kitchen, doing chores. Haven’t cried.

When Chester died I swear my chest caved in. My hand twitched like I was about to reach for something. I don’t remember what I was doing, just that I was very still. Cried a little. Well, I made others cry for me.

Funnily enough a couple days before this all happened I had a story moment <Blind (K-movie)> Red (fox) and White (snake)>necrophilia>dacryphilia>dissociation.

Imagine how amused I was when I heard, with clear vehemence “My boyfriend cannot be a corpse f**ker.”

I mean that can’t be right, right?

I think of that scene in Byakuyakou. The gangster asks, what did you do?

And R says from his place at the foot of the bed. “Don’t ask anything of me ever again.”

Knowing the truth I confessed to my sister how Gree was inspired by Toshiya and Miura Haruma (and all the Asian hotties)

She laughed a little, and I smiled a pained smile. I couldn’t look her in the eye.

Chester and Raphael have buzzed hair, haunting voices and very brown eyes. And painfully skinny! A lot of Linkin park songs were the soundtrack thar built this character and many of Meander. He’s the first only character of mine to commit suicide. I never quite recovered after that realization. I greaved more for him than my own August. Can you imagine how I crumpled whBut then filicide and suicide couldn’t ever be the same thing.

Burnt torches. Can’t see what’s below.

Dead character’s walking or dead people walking?

I expected to grow old with these men. Old photographs look different when you know the person doesn’t exist anymore.

I truly wonder how to make a living thing looking into the eyes of the dead.

-Neru

My butt’s numb and my eyes sting from trying to be awake.

Fall asleep to your voice. Since there’s no escape.

Linkin Park-Pushing Me Away remix

Mica Caldito cover – Call Your Name

Shingeki no Kyojin OST


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