I See Your Face

Unforgettable thing.

I’m not a write when I’m depressed sort of person. Angry-resigned inspired-tired! disappointed maybe. But actually bonedeep sad?

I can’t reach down there in the depths of despair.

I’d be curled up somewhere watching anime or reading manga. I’d make myself notthink.

When Miura Haruma died, I said a flat “No.” wandering back into the kitchen, doing chores. Haven’t cried.

When Chester died I swear my chest caved in. My hand twitched like I was about to reach for something. I don’t remember what I was doing, just that I was very still. Cried a little. Well, I made others cry for me.

Funnily enough a couple days before this all happened I had a story moment <Blind (K-movie)> Red (fox) and White (snake)>necrophilia>dacryphilia>dissociation.

Imagine how amused I was when I heard, with clear vehemence “My boyfriend cannot be a corpse f**ker.”

I mean that can’t be right, right?

I think of that scene in Byakuyakou. The gangster asks, what did you do?

And R says from his place at the foot of the bed. “Don’t ask anything of me ever again.”

Knowing the truth I confessed to my sister how Gree was inspired by Toshiya and Miura Haruma (and all the Asian hotties)

She laughed a little, and I smiled a pained smile. I couldn’t look her in the eye.

Chester and Raphael have buzzed hair, haunting voices and very brown eyes. And painfully skinny! A lot of Linkin park songs were the soundtrack thar built this character and many of Meander. He’s the first only character of mine to commit suicide. I never quite recovered after that realization. I greaved more for him than my own August. Can you imagine how I crumpled whBut then filicide and suicide couldn’t ever be the same thing.

Burnt torches. Can’t see what’s below.

Dead character’s walking or dead people walking?

I expected to grow old with these men. Old photographs look different when you know the person doesn’t exist anymore.

I truly wonder how to make a living thing looking into the eyes of the dead.


My butt’s numb and my eyes sting from trying to be awake.

Fall asleep to your voice. Since there’s no escape.

Linkin Park-Pushing Me Away remix

Mica Caldito cover – Call Your Name

Shingeki no Kyojin OST

★ Support me on ko-fi! ★

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